Saturday, July 26, 2003 @ 09:27pm | Entry no.279 | ahh.. being eaten alive!! ||   mood    sore   || ||   music    night rider remix   || note I really am being eaten alive by mosquitos here. itchy... Day two of work. Blahh! So boring, so tired, and I'm in such pain! Mummy dearest and the rest of them left for vacation. The nanny/maid is leaving here tomorrow night. Now if only we could get Eileen's mummy out of here, it's time for us to party. ((sighs)) but no such luck. Turns out they don't trust us. Granted, we don't give them a reason for them to trust us, since all of us like to have fun... the kind of fun where people can get into some serious trouble... Anyways! It's Saturday. And I'm home at 9 pm; how utterly depressing is that? And I get to work tomorrow. From what I hear, I don't get a day off. I get to work 9:00-8:30 Mondays-Saturdays, and 9:30-4:00 on Sundays. No days off. I am going to be so burnt out if I decide to live here full time. But there is a plus side though, while I'm over here, I don't have all this time on my hands, well, except for when I get home and there's nothing to do because I can't go online. So, I get to thinking about guys. Sometimes about my sweetie, but more often that not, it's about other guys. But first, I'll write about my sweetie, I still haven't talked to him about anything that's been on my mind. I talked about this with Chadwick, [and there's something that I wanted to mention about him later], and he said to just wait it out. Let things play out the way they're supposed to and try not to force the issue, because who knows, my feelings might change in the future. Meanwhile, Kare says to speak up now before people get hurt, because the longer this relationship goes on, the more painful it's going to be. Two best buddies with two very good standpoints. What do I do? Speaking of my lovely little Chadwick, I've always found it a bit odd that we're always on the same boat. What I mean by that is, everything that seems to be occuring in my life, occurs in his also. We both get "others" within a day of each other, we both find that these "others" are perhaps better of as just friends, we're both conflicted by being interested in other people, even though our people are at complete extremes. Heck, we both did things around the same time that were completely out of character for us both. He's pretty much the only guy who understands me completely, who I can talk to about any and everything, and he thinks the same of me. Maybe fate's telling us something by always letting us go through the same things together. Like how we should realize that people are just fucking evil, and we should give up on them and just get married like we planned. Ha, our engagement's on November 23, 2012. Good stuff. We've yet to talk about a wedding date yet, but, it's a whiles away, I can put it off. I'll finally get my poolboy after all. ((sighs)) Why do I keep putting myself through the same misery all the time? I shouldn't be liking this one guy, not only because I have a boyfriend, but because he's someone who I could really fall for if I wanted to. That doesn't sound like a bad thing right? Falling for someone? Well, in this case, it would. It's a complicated situation where other people are involved and well, it's just better off if it never gets mentioned again... but like a moth to a flame, I'm drawn, I couldn't keep away if I wanted to. People'll get hurt, and for once it won't be just me. Evilness. But at least, I find myself liking one person less and less, but eep, I'm liking another person more and more. And my boyfriend isn't even crossing my mind at all. "Out of sight, out of mind" truly is how my mind works And I have tons more to write, but unfortunately, I'm pooped, and tomorrow another work day, so <33 toodles. edit I wish I didn't think of "him" so much. It's more than a bit distracting. ( 1 ) deep dark secret revealed  unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )